UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES, CONTINUED

The biggest "unexpected consequence" came about since my husband Karl changed from a four day work week to a three day work week.  This was done at my behest, of course.  Karl had done well since going to a four day work week some time ago (also at my behest), but I was seeing signs of stress building up again and I felt it was time to reduce his work week by yet another day.  Weaning a type A personality from his high powered job is not to be taken lightly, but it was clear when I first began to do this some time ago, that Karl had become too obsessed with work.  By reducing his time at, and involvement with, his managerial duties, I was attempting to reduce the stress brought about by his job and increase his service to me.  When he's in his sub mode, he no longer has to give the orders or be responsible for how his company is running.  He's only responsible to me, and he's certainly not giving any orders.  In short, his priorities had to be set straight, and since he's long since made enough money to keep us both comfortable for several lifetimes, there was really no reason for him to be spending the majority of his time at work.

I suppose I should have paid more attention to the old adage "be careful what you wish for" before I had Karl go to his three day work week, but I really was not prepared for the extra amount of time for "Domming" that developed.  I found out quickly that having him around four out of each seven days of the week was something of a bother for me. Naturally enough, he wanted to spend most of his time with me, and as his submissive side now had the majority of each week to express itself, I was put in the position of exercising my dominance for that majority of the week as well.  We had never had a 24/7, D/s relationship, and though we often had slave weekends and certain extended periods of my extra-demanding dominance because of situations that had developed, we had reached a perfect balance of D/s that was now being threatened.  In short, I was getting too much of Karl as a sub, and I had no one to blame but myself.

Over the years, I had developed a pattern of existence that satisfied all of my needs.  I am a natural Dom who enjoys all that goes with Domming, and with Karl as my willing sub and loving husband, I could exercise that side of me whenever I felt like it.  I'm also a social person with friends with whom I like to share time.  Lady Dom friends, for the most part, with whom I have wonderful talks, shopping time, fitness work-outs, etc.  I also enjoy nights out with fine dining and jazz clubs and theatre, etc., which I usually share with Karl and more vanilla type friends.  What's more, I have a charitable side that finds me spending time each week working with the needy elderly, a group which is often ignored by society.  I don't discuss this side of me very much, but it's there, and I take it seriously.

So, my week had been well filled with a very satisfactory schedule that didn't have a whole lot of time for anything more.  Then along came an extra day with Karl, and that extra day was having the effect of pushing him into a much more submissive role than usual.  That type A personality was changing a little bit each week.  Less time at work, more giving over of his work responsibilities to former underlings, less of a feeling of importance to a company that was formerly dominated by his presence.  I suppose it had to change him, but it took me by surprise that his submissive side was expanding so quickly, and I had to find a way to deal with it. 

I wasn't about to send him back to work.  There was no denying that he slept better, was less stressed, had more time to work out and was in all-around better shape both physically and mentally than he had been before.   I wanted him to be healthy, and I was damned if I was going to send him back to full time work, but that delicate balance we had achieved was being threatened by a sub who was now more "underfoot" than before.   I've always felt that it is the Dom's responsibility to keep the D/s dynamic stable and fresh, so I had to find a way to do so that didn't require me to give up the other things in my life that made me happy.

I discussed the situation with my Dom friends, and it was Patsy, who managed a veritable stable of subs in her Victorian house, who came up with the best solution.  More about this in my next posting.