ELDERSUBS

Two things have occurred lately that have brought the matter of the elderly sub to mind.  First, was a bit of personal mental reminiscing about my  "subs of the past".  For those of you who haven't followed my blog from its beginnings,  I'll mention that before Karl and I met, I had three different subs in three different cities where I travelled in my job.  One of these subs was over 60 years old, totally dedicated to me, and both a delightful person and an excellent sub.  When I gave up my three subs to spend my time - and eventually - my life with Karl, this man was absolutely devastated.  He told me how hard it was to find a true Dom who was interested in a man his age, and how he had heretofore been forced to seek the services of a professional Dominatrix.  In short, he now feared that his chances of finding someone like me again were slim, to say the least.


I certainly sympathized with him and agreed that it would be very hard, but there was nothing I could really do to help him.  I said my farewell, wished him well, and went on my way, but I've often thought about him and wondered if he'd managed to find another "me" out there.  He'd now be around 70 years old, and unless he came across a Dom near his age, the chances of his finding a younger Dom willing to take on such an older sub.....well, not good at all.


The second thing turning my mind toward the eldersub is a current experience I've had at the home for the elderly where I serve as a volunteer.  I enjoy reading to older people with eye problems, or playing games and/or conversing with people who have been relatively forgotten by their family and rarely have visitors, especially visitors who give a damn about them.  A very sad situation to witness, and if I can bring a bit of human interaction to such people, it just makes me (and them) feel good.  So many of the elderly have fascinating life experiences and there's so much to be learned from them if one simply takes the time to listen. 


The home where I volunteer is for elderly people with physical disabilities as opposed to mental disabilities.  People who simply can't care for themselves any more, but are mentally just fine.  Many more women than men, and that's because women generally live longer than men, but still quite a few men among them.  One man in particular is the person who has brought the problem of the eldersub to the forefront lately.  He's 73 years old, and let's call him Pete.  Very bright, very full of great stories from his past life as a college professor, but suffering from an arthritic condition that keeps him mostly wheelchair bound, though he can use a walker on good days.  Unfortunately, his wife has passed away, his kids live thousands of miles away, and he sees them maybe once a year or so.


At any rate, Pete and I connected on a mental level, and after many conversations he revealed two things to me.  One, he was a naturally submissive male who had had many submissive "scenes" with his wife, and two - and this was disconcerting to say the least - he sensed that I was a dominant woman!  When I asked (and I admit to being a bit flustered) what brought him to this conclusion, he just gave me a sly smile and said "it takes a sub to know a Dom when he sees one", and that's all I could get out of him.  Well, I just laughed and quickly changed the subject, but Pete waited a bit and said  "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, but I'd really like to explore the subject with you if you wouldn't mind".


I was quite taken aback at all of this, as I've never had anyone catch me out, so to speak, when I was in my "normal" mode, and I could not figure out how he had seen the real me under my vanilla façade.   We'd had so many different conversations in the months that I'd known him, and I couldn't pinpoint anything that would have "outed" me as a dominant woman.  While I was still reeling from what he said, Pete went on to say that he missed terribly the days when he could serve his wife as her sub and sometime slave, and that though he was crippled he still had sexual feelings and would be ever so grateful if  I would at least talk to him about this subject so that he could once again feel some of "the thrill" of his past.


Whew!  This was definitely a new situation for me.  Luckily, a physical therapist arrived to work with Pete and I beat a hasty retreat before any more was said.  It has been a week since that conversation, and I've had some time to think about it and discuss it with Karl.  Not surprisingly, Karl was very sympathetic toward Pete, and he didn't see any reason why I shouldn't talk more to him about D/s matters.  I said that I feared that it would lead to too many problems, especially if Pete wound up getting aroused as we talked.  What then, and what if he actually wanted me to play an active role in his fantasies, whatever they might be?  Plus, I said, do I really want to even admit that he was correct in his supposition concerning my dominance?  Won't that just open up a can of worms that we take such pains to avoid in our vanilla lives?


As of now, I still haven't decided what to do.  The whole thing has me thinking about the problems of the eldersub who still wants to feel the joy of submitting to a dominant woman.  What a shame that when a male reaches a certain age, especially if he has physical infirmities, his days as a sub are likely to be done.  It doesn't seem fair, and as for the matter of Pete, my gut feeling is just to tell him he was wrong in thinking I was a Dom, and perhaps avoid him in the future and let all of this disappear before it gets out of hand.  However, I like him as a person and would miss interacting with him, and I'm certain that he feels the same way about me.  So where do I go from here?


I'd be very interested in hearing what my readers have to say about this matter and about the problems of an eldersub in general.