I know that many of my readers are wondering what happened after the Christmas competition in regard to Vanessa and David. You can read about that situation in my post called "THE COMPETITION", but basically Vanessa's sub David did not show up for the competition as ordered by Vanessa, and we wound up having the Karl and Clarice "games" instead. Vanessa was furious about the situation, and embarrassed that her sub had failed her so dismally. She did manage to calm down and enjoy the day, but for days afterwards she wanted to talk about nothing but the "David situation".
I pointed out that it was partially her fault for springing a competition on a relatively new sub at nearly the last minute. What's more, she had abruptly shut off discussion of the matter, simply ordering David to appear at her house on Christmas day prepared to do battle. "I know that you fancy yourself a heartless Mistress," I said to her, "but you should have considered that this sort of thing was possibly too much, too soon for a relatively new sub. You could have assuaged at least some of his fears with a little more dialogue on the matter."
Vanessa wasn't convinced, and responded that David had enough training to know that she wouldn't put him in a dangerous situation, and had agreed from the first to trust and obey her implicitly. "Furthermore." she said "just not showing up, and then not answering my phone calls or my knocks on his door with me standing there banging on it is simply crazy I was so furious, and then so ashamed to have to tell my friends about it....well, I just don't know what I should do next. One part of me says I should just forget about him and find a new sub, and another part of me wants to punish him royally."
I suggested that she mull things over and try to calm down for a few more days, and under no circumstances was she to initiate contact with David. "You're right," I said, "he has no excuse for not answering the phone or his door when you went to his apartment or letting you know that he didn't want to participate, period. It speaks volumes about his so-called manhood. Right now he's probably scared to death about even contacting you, but the ball is clearly in his court. If he doesn't reach out to you within a reasonable period, I'd suggest you just close the book on him and start searching for a new sub. Personally, I'd give him no more than a week. If he hasn't contacted you by then, the hell with him."
Vanessa agreed with me, at least to some extent, and said she'd give him a week to get in touch with her while she decided whether she wanted to take him back at all. "If I do hear from him" she warned, " and if I even feel like talking to him, he'd better be prepared to eat crow and absorb any punishment I prescribe." I could only imagine what that might entail!
Well, five days after the Christmas explosion, a huge bouquet of roses and a box of Godiva chocolates arrived at Vanessa's door. The card attached simply said:
"I'm so, so sorry Mistress Vanessa. Please, please forgive me and allow me to serve you properly. Your humble servant, david."
Vanessa phoned me and told me about the flowers and chocolates and the card that went with them. "So, what are you going to do?" I asked.
"Well," she answered " I've decided to give him another chance, but I'm going to put him through absolute hell. I'm going to let him know that he's to regard himself as my total slave and to prepare to spend a week in my house doing whatever I tell him to and taking whatever punishments I dish out. No excuses, no complaints, no backing out or it's all over and he can seek out another Mistress. Believe me, if he manages to complete that week, he'll have proven himself worthy of having me as a Mistress. The truth is, I doubt that he'll be able to pull it off, but at least I'll get some serious revenge out of it."
I must admit that I shivered a bit at the sound of this. I've known Vanessa since our college days together, and I know full well what she's capable of when she wants to teach a sub a lesson. As a slave, David was going to experience her at a level he'd never seen before when he was simply a sub (not that being a sub is simple, but you know what I mean), and I had to wonder if someone who'd failed as a sub could possibly expect to deal with what was ahead for him.
That was two months ago, and Vanessa started the ball rolling by calling David and telling him what he'd have to agree to if he wanted another chance. He did agree, and she told him to free up the second week in January and to arrive at her house prepared for a week without contact with anybody but her. What's more, and to prove he was serious and not wasting her time, he was to buy 6 notebooks with at least fifty lined pages on which he would print in capital letters "I BEG TO BE MISTRESS VANESSA'S SLAVE" on each line, no less than twenty lines per page, front and back, and present it for her inspection upon his arrival.
When Vanessa told me about this assignment, I did the math and realized that there would be a total of 12,000 lines! "Yes," said Vanessa "that's one notebook a day for six straight days which should keep him thinking of what's ahead for him. It's just a little preview of coming attractions without shackles and whips, of course. He 'll look back on his little assignment with longing after things get serious."
Well, David did manage to complete his lines and he did show up at Vanessa's house for hell week. I stayed away rather than witness what came after, though Vanessa did give me updates on the phone, and much to my amazement (and Vanessa's) David survived the week! I don't know what his body looked like immediately after his ordeal, and to tell the truth I didn't want to, but I did see him when Vanessa had Patsy and I over a few weeks later for a cocktail hour (or two...or three..) prepared by David. plus some serious foot worshipping, etc. during the course of the evening. He was obviously well trained for the event, and happily bore no serious marks on his naked body. Lots of stripes, but nothing "serious":)
That's how it stands as of now, so I suppose all's well that ends well, at least for the time being. David is clearly Vanessa's creature now, and his training is a work in progress. Where it will lead remains to be seen. I'll try to update the situation as time progresses.
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Thank you for the update, Lady Grey! It looks like David learned his lesson. I bet he felt terribly after not showing up that day.
ReplyDeleteG.M.
Yes, and I'm certain that he felt a lot worse by the end of that week with Vanessa!
DeleteThank you for sharing, Lady Grey.
ReplyDeleteI would have to wonder if David could do it over again, would he have made the same choice?
Some people have to learn the hard way and it is very possible this is what he needed and he seems to have responded to it.
I also hope that Vanessa was able to adequately vent her anger although I worry the specter may linger. I could empathize with his original "freak out" up until the point that he no showed and broke off contact. I don't sympathize for him much beyond that point and think he was lucky to have been given a second chance, even if he had to go through hell to earn it.
Take care.
I don't think there is any question that - in hindsight - David would not have made that choice. Considering what Vanessa put him through as a result of his bad decision, he may now feel that he'd have been better off not to have begged for forgiveness. Then again, he did survive it, so he must have been desperately miserable thinking that he'd lost Vanessa as his Dom. The things you subs are willing to go through constantly amaze me! I'm not complaining, mind you, as it certainly plays into the sadistic hands of a Femdom, as I know very well:)
DeleteThank you, Lady Grey.
DeleteThere are many types of fears and some of the corresponding realities heal much more quickly than others.
Take care.
You had me at 12,000 lines.
ReplyDeleteTerrified. You had me terrified. My hand is cramping up just thinking about it. His mind must have been unable to think of anything but those words, repeating and repeating and...
OMG. and that makes me wonder just might have gone on that week.
I have no doubt that it got much worse as the week progressed. Vanessa does not fool around when she has a point to make with a sub. That line writing chore was much more extreme than any I've ever assigned to Karl or any other sub. I'm not sure how he actually pulled it off, but it's an indication of what he was willing to go through to get back into Vanessa's good graces.
DeleteYou mean what he was willing to go through to get back into her 'bad graces.' Of course, it all depends on how you define good and bad.
DeleteWhere can i find a sub, they don't wear labels
ReplyDeleteInternet sites designed for this purpose, ads in the personal section of newspapers, groups formed for this purpose (usually only in large cities), various night club scenes , or just plain good luck most anywhere (if you're attuned to the right body signs), etc.
DeleteI still think it was her fault, she tried to bully him into doing something he is not ready to do and now she's just abusing him, i am actually shocked that you see this happening in front of you and you won't let her know that what she is doing is just wrong, women only complain when they are being abused but when they see it happen to men you don't hear a lot, where is the justice in what she did to him ?
ReplyDeleteHS
Well, HS, I think you're missing some key points here. This is not a normal "vanilla" situation. It's a female led D/s relationship that has several basic assumptions. Among these are the consensually agreed upon need for punishment for a male who displeases his Mistress, consensual agreement between the two parties that she is in charge and will make the decision as to whether the punishment is warranted, consensual agreement as to the hard limits of the punishment involved and to the basic nature of the relationship. Note the constant use of the word "consensual" in its various forms. David had already accepted the fact of punishment in this relationship, and after several months of training knew full well that he'd be punished for various infractions, and had already experienced the nature of punishments as Vanessa's sub. He had consented to all of that. What's more, it was his choice to send flowers and candy to Vanessa as he begged for forgiveness and a continuation of the relationship. No one put a gun to his head, no one snatched him off the street and chained him to a wall, no one forced him to accept what he knew would be serious punishment for his willful ignoring of Vanessa's orders or his failure to respond to her calls and knocks on his doors.
DeleteTo David, the ensuing punishment during his hell week was not abuse. It was getting what he deserved and - more importantly - what he WANTED and NEEDED as a sub in his relationship with Vanessa. Do you really think he wanted to just say "Hey Vanessa, I screwed up and I'm really sorry, and I won't make that mistake again so let's just continue our relationship as it was before"? Or that she would answer by saying "Well David, I probably should have given you more warning about the competition, so let's just forget that you disobeyed me, refused to respond to my efforts to reach you and thoroughly embarrassed me in front of my friends. Of course I'll just forget about what happened and we can go on from here."
Such a dialogue would never have occurred, and would not have satisfied David's view of himself as a sub (this is very important) or Vanessa's admitted and unapologetic view of herself as a sadistic Dom. I am a sadistic Dom myself, and I can assure you that neither party to this sort of relationship would be satisfied with anything less than putting things right.
Pardon my wordiness, but you must realize that what happened between Vanessa and David is in no way a case of abuse, as both parties would agree with the need to use corrective measures. I've witnessed more than enough "erections during punishment" through the years to speak very confidently of the sub's needs, wants and desires to be corrected. David could have left the scene at any time during that week or afterward. He didn't, and he's still there to this day. I think that speaks volumes.
Enough said and, as always, thank you for your comment
Master Class! What a mind you possess!
DeleteThere you go again, Explorer. Swelling my head with your kind words. We'll see if others agree or if I wind up being castigated as some sort of abuse monger:)
DeleteI would have to agree with Lady Grey on this. These aren't relationships where one party gets blindsided by a hidden desire. These are D/s relationships that adults enter with both eyes open to an agreed upon inequality and expectations that have been communicated from the start.
DeleteI am certain that with his previous training David was aware that there would be dire consequences. I am honestly surprised that Vanessa gave him a second chance but I am not surprised that she set the bar very high and that he was willing to accept it. My guess is that she could have given him 20,000 lines written with the opposite hand backwards and he still would have completed it.
I will have to contribute to the head swelling as I am in total agreement with the Explorer.
Ps. I have had the secret goal of earning one of the Explorer's super smiles on one of my posts but I haven't managed to pull it off yet. I guess I must write more interestig things.
Thank you as well, fur, for the kind words. I can only suspect that Explorer hasn't yet explored your blog. When she does, I'm certain that smiles will be coming your way. In the meantime, :))))))))!
DeleteLady Grey,
ReplyDeletea great and hot story! I want to introduce myself: I'm Femi and I blog at myfemdomlife.wordpress.com ... about my relationship, like you. I wanted to ask you, would you maybe interested in a link exchange with me?
Femi
I'm glad you enjoyed it and glad to receive a comment from another dominant woman. I'm not sure what you mean by "link exchange'. Could you clarify?
ReplyDeleteHi,
Deletea link exchange is like putting a link in your sidebar to each others blogs - so people know whom you're following and what you're reading.
Okay, I know what you mean now. Thank you for the offer, but I prefer not having those on my sidebar. Take care.
DeleteThe one thing I don't see right in any situation depending on davids own personal real world life outside of his relationship with Vanessa is that David was required to take a whole 5 days of vacation off from work to stay with her? I don't care how badly you screw up or how great your needs are I would never give up 5 full days of vacation to go get punished, let alone not leave there house or have contact with anyone besides them, my problem is I as a sub give up 5 very valuable work vacations while the dom gets to punish me and not make any sacrifice of there own when in reality they too screwed up in someway shape or form due to there selfishness of pushing to fast? I'm not trying to be rude but come one that's a lot to ask if anyone anywhere to give up and not see the same from a leader of your relationship? Does that make any sense can vennesa be in the wrong for asking David to give up so much and not her self take any blame?
ReplyDeleteSee below.
DeleteIsn't 5 days a lot of vacation days for David to give up? That's a huge sacrifice for him to give with out having Vanessa appolagize or sacrifice anything of her own? I think Vanessa is wrong for doing that to have someone give up there real life to go live with you for a week and have no contact with anyone else? Not saying David is right or wrong for what he did but I do think Vanessa can be see as more of a human being and admit she was wrong nothing says she has to be a mean hearted person on top of being a physical mean person and I do see it's consensual that jut seems like a cop out for her to act the she is acting like David was solely wrong for everything he did and she was not wrong for anything I do t see how acting like that nothing says just because you agree to the roles you play means you are actually like that in real life I'm sure if Vanessa just appolagize her relationship with David would be much stronger and David would be willing and wanting to submit more.
ReplyDeleteSee below.
DeleteIsn't asking someone to give up 5 full days of vacation alittle much that's a lot to ask of someone to sacrifice and then not sacrifice anything on Vanessa's side nor even appolagize to David for the things she was wrong about? Just because you consent and you agree to the roles you play doesn't mean you actually live those roles. Vanessa should appolagize to David for not communicating or caring what he thought of the competition. David is wrong for the no show and no communication of his own but for Vanessa to have him sacrifice 5 days of vacation of his real life in the real world and have her not sacrifice anything in return is a lot and makes her seem selfish and not trust worthy or even a responsible human being to be with if she can't take ownership of her own mistakes, just because she is the Dom doesn't mean she has to be a mean hearted person especially to another human who wants to be with her.
ReplyDeleteOkay. It seems to me that the three previous comments are from the same person (the second and third for sure) as they all say essentially the same thing. I'm not clear as to how you reached the conclusion that David was using 5 days of vacation, but I suppose that it's not too important as you mainly seem to be criticizing Vanessa for taking up too much of David's time and not apologizing or "sacrificing" herself in any way. Well, I'll refer you to my answer to HS and say that I think I've said enough about my feelings toward how Vanessa handled all of this. Your contention that these situations are just some sort of role playing as opposed to "real life"is a bit naïve, and I'm certain that both David and Vanessa would disagree. What's more, I don't think David views Vanessa as mean hearted at all. If he did, he wouldn't have put up with his punishment nor remained her sub afterward. He's done both and seems quite content to be back in her good graces.
DeleteHello Lady Gray,
ReplyDeleteAs always, thank you for taking the time to post and in that way instruct us subs.
Clearly, What david did was inexcusable. It is not my place to comment on Ms. Vanessa's behavior both before and after the incident as only she knows what she wants of a slave and how best to get it. I am sure that david learned a lot that week, be it not the easiest way to learn, but maybe necessary for him.
I wonder what his thoughts and feelings are after that week of trial by fire. I would hope that if it were me that I would feel proud that I could endure Ms. Vanessa's teachings and in that way please her. I hope that david feels closer to Ms Vanessa with love and gratitude to her for making him the slave that she wants and is entitled to. I wish the best for both of them.
You're welcome and thank you for your very sweet comments, humble. I think you've also hit the nail on the head with your last 2 paragraphs. Things seem to be going very well with their relationship, I'm happy to say. Take care.
DeleteLady Grey, i understand that a punishment is a normal part of life in a Mistress/Sub relationship, but when a Mistress is pushing her sub to do something he is not ready for, then punish him later, isn't that unjust, when a sub gives himself to a woman, he wants to see and feel that she is wise and just, that he didn't give himself to a woman who cannot understand him and bullies him every time she wants him to cross a line that he can't.
ReplyDeletelet's say we're in a gym, and you're asking someone to carry a weight that he just can't carry, it's above his level, then you get angry because he is not strong enough, where is the wisdom or justice in that ?
HS
I'm guessing that Lady Grey has her thoughts on this but from a sub's perspective that has been out in the dating/courting scene...
DeleteFrom what I have gathered on Vanessa she is more extreme than 95% or more of women that associate themselves with being dominant. I'm sure that David had already seen these parts of her before. With the D/s dating scene being what it is, there is no shortage of subs that are strong enough to carry that weight or are willing to kill themselves trying. If David was unable to rise to the occasion it would have been a bad fit and his next pursuit would have ideally been someone less extreme.
If he was unable/unwilling to find the strength within him, it would have ended and that's just what it is. If available Dommes outnumbered available subs by a wide margin, things may have gone very differently.
That being said, the wrong that he committed was probably the 2nd worst thing he could have done (the worst being unfaithfulness). Under duress or not, vanishing and cutting off contact is not the precedent you want to set as a sub for how you deal with adversity.
The unfair truth of it is that Vanessa is in a position to make demands and if he cannot meet them, she will search for someone who can.
HS, I do appreciate your concern, but you must realize that using normal ("vanilla") concepts of "fairness" and "justice" simply don't apply in an extreme D/s relationship. There's no "please" and "thank you" in such a relationship. "Fairness" is not an issue when a Dom can put her sub/slave in lose-lose situation at her whim, or use him as a piece of furniture, or punish him for failing to live up to near impossible micro cleaning tasks, etc., etc. I could go on and on with such examples, but the point is that you'll constantly be angered and frustrated when reading about such relationships if you insist that the usual rules of decorum and good manners apply. They don't, and David knew that full well after a week or so of being accepted as a sub by Vanessa. I must say again and again and again, evidently, that this relationship is CONSENSUAL. An understanding between two adults as to the basic nature of the relationship and an agreement that a different set of rules apply. Hard limits have been in place since the outset, and both parties have a full understanding of the situation. David knew that his punishment was going to be extreme and he accepted that. He's still there, still Vanessa's sub. There's no gun at his head. He can walk away at any time. Enough said, hopefully. I'll end on that note, as there's nothing more that I feel I need to say on this matter, and refer you to fur's comment below. He has first-hand experience in consensual relationships that differ from the norm, and I suggest you pay particular heed to what he has to say.
DeleteOops. It looks as though fur's reply is actually above mine. Sorry about any confusion.
DeleteAnd thank you for your input, Fur. Always appreciated and hopefully it will clarify things a bit in HR's case.
DeleteLady Grey, i do understand that a M/S relationship is CONSENSUAL, but i thought that a mistress still has to be fair and just to her sub, yes he agreed to submit to her but i don't know how a sub can still love his mistress over the years when he feels repeatedly that she is not fair, i can't imagine that "fairness" and "justice" have no place in a D/S relationship.
ReplyDeleteHS
I think we've beaten this subject to death. I've said all I care to in this regard, so let's just move on. Thank you.
DeleteFrom Ttom
ReplyDeleteThe crime he committed was inexcusable and he definitely deserved severe punishment. He embarrassed his mistress in front of other. Unthinkable! Don't forget Lady Grey you are the one who opened the door to these kinds of comments by suggesting that Vanessa may have pushed her sub a little to far to fast? Then you have back tracked since that comment and said it was within her rights to do what she wished and I believe these parts of your posts were correct as she can do whatever she wishes with him. In my humble opinion Vanessa is simply Venessa and perhaps she is a little over the top but I am sure that her sub knew that from the start and he must have liked it as he went crawling back full well knowing the consequences. It appears to me that is exactly what he wanted but it took him almost a full week to get the courage to come crawling back. You said yourself that Vanessa is one of the toughest Mistresses you know and know doubt her wrath would be frightening. However many subs crave exactly that in their life. Personally I would not trust her and I believe that is a very important part of the D/s relationship if their is no trust no matter how far the sub is under the spell of the Dom it is a very frightening experience. You say it is consensual c'mon Lady Grey you know as well as I do that this type of life style is a conditioning of sorts in some ways reminiscent of a prisoner of war camp. Punish someone enough and they are under your command and their is no turning back and someone like Vanessa would definitely break a weak sub and thats exactly what he is even though he was so afraid he stayed away 5 days he came back because he was conditioned. There is no free will in these relationships the subs are simply brainwashed after a time punishment and reward works on almost anyone including animals. I love this lifestyle and am a very strong individual who trusts his dominant and Knows she would never go to far because she loves me and I would do anything for her not because I am afraid of her punishments "which I am" but because of my undying love and devotion to her. But then again I am not a slave but a servant to my Queen and we embrace FLR
Ttom - Thank you for commenting, but the following two statements that you made are simply absurd:
ReplyDelete"...you know as well as I do that this type of life style is a conditioning of sorts in some ways reminiscent of a prisoner of war camp."
"There is no free will in these relationships.."
Actually, they are so far from reality that it would be a waste of both our times to even attempt to debate the matter. Evidently, your own relationship is the only sort that is "truly" consensual. How convenient for you.
Please don't reply. You have your view, I have mine. Let's just leave it at that.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear Lady Grey
ReplyDeleteit would be very interesting to understand better how Vanessa managed to put her sub back under her control. A step by step guide...
That's a bit more than I feel like getting into, and in any event I really don't remember enough about what happened to give you anything like a step by step guide. That was over a year ago.
ReplyDelete