THE ITCH

I haven't written in my blog for quite some time.  Basically, there has been nothing especially original or stimulating going on in my D/s life, so there seemed to be no reason to put words to paper, so to speak.  Actually, it's this lack of original thinking and stimulation that I'm going to blog about now.

I've recently celebrated my seventh year of marriage to my husband Karl.  As my readers know, Karl is my first husband, and I'm his second wife, but since I'm his first "experience" with a dominant woman, we really can't count his first marriage as anything but an aberration.  At least as things turned out, that is.  Karl was a submissive-in-waiting when I culled him from the pack, and the past seven years have verified his basic submissive nature, leaving no doubt as to the correctness of his current station in life.

Said "current station" finds him happily married and happily controlled by me, as I'm sure he'd agree.  Being an experienced and virtually lifelong Dominant has made it a joy for me to train my beloved as I see fit, and though there were certainly some rocky times along the way, the seven years have been very rewarding for both of us.

However, I must admit that being married to a submissive is a very different experience than I would have imagined.  Certainly, the basic fact that we live together and spend huge amounts of time with each other has resulted in a much more intense and demanding situation than simply being a part-time Dom with a variety of submissives at my service.  I welcomed the challenges and I feel justified in saying that I exceeded Karl's wildest fantasies and desires while finding personal fulfillment as his Dominant partner in this journey.  A lovely symbiosis, as it should be.

So why am I feeling this "itch" that I'm feeling?  No, it's not an itch to have an affair or to sexually cuckold Karl.  I'm perfectly content with our vows of sexual fidelity.  What I find myself missing is the special pleasure of starting with an inexperienced newbie submissive.  Things are so under control with Karl that I no longer have to bother with the basics.  He's beautifully trained, and I certainly do love it that way, but I can't help but miss that thrill of taking an inexperienced sub wannabe to places he has only imagined or never even thought of.  It was always my specialty in times past, this working with a beginner, and I enjoyed it as much - or more - than the lucky man who got to learn things at my hand - or foot - or ass...well, you get the idea, I'm sure. 

That "molding" of a man, that taking possession of his psyche, that thrilling moment when he first realizes that he is completely under your control....well, that's always been a huge turn-on for me, and though I'm certainly happily married and in control of my husband, it's just not possible to duplicate that feeling of "beginnings" with Karl.

Which brings me to the problem of what's to be done?   Our marriage is based on monogamy, and I embrace that.  Karl is a very jealous man, and I understand that.  I can already hear him arguing that since I'd get sexually turned on by dealing with a beginner sub, such a thing would not be true to the concept of monogamy.  I really couldn't mount a persuasive argument to counter that, although there would be no classic sexual contact, i.e. penetration, etc. So, what can I possibly do to scratch my itch that wouldn't disrupt our current life?  Do it in secret?  Hmm.  I'm not anxious to get involved in that tangled web.

Interestingly, Karl - a man who has reached the very pinnacle of the corporate world - has often talked about missing the start-up days when a company is just an idea, and taking it all the way to the top. He wouldn't want to erase what he's accomplished, but he'd dearly love to re-live those heady days when it was all beginning. Is this a reasonable comparison?

I have no wish to subtract from anything we have, but I would love to add to my ability to experience those beginnings once again.  Not with a man who could replace Karl as my husband and lover, but simply to take the blank tablet that a potential sub represents and write on that tablet - as a teacher, of sorts - until he learns what he really needs to be.  Then - if the itch is still there - move on to the next one in order to keep getting the thrill that being the catalyst of a sub's lifestyle discovery engenders in me.

My friend Queen Goddesss, who writes the delightful blog called "I Am Her Maine Sub" deals with this problem by having an intensive  yearly re-training of her husband.  It's a good idea, and I also re-train at various intervals, but it's not really what I'm looking for.  I feel the need to start anew with a potential sub or subs while still maintaining everything I have with Karl.  Right now, I'm trying to figure out how.  Any ideas?

P.S. Any resemblance to my problem and the old movie "The Seven Year Itch" is coincidental.  I believe that movie dealt with a bored male spouse of seven years whose new neighbor turns out to be Marilyn Monroe.  Hardly the same situation as the one I'm blogging about.